Babblings and such

I've got this song stuck in my head....

Rock of Ages, when the day seems long

From this labor and this heartache I have come

The skies will wear out, but You remain the same

Rock of Ages, I praise Your name.

Rock of Ages, You have brought me near

You have poured out Your life-blood, Your love,

Your tears To make this stone heart come alive again

Rock of Ages, forgive my sin

Rock of Ages, when in want or rest

My desperate need for such a Savior I confess

Pull these idols out from my heart embrace

Rock of Ages, I need Your grace

Rock of Ages, broken, scorned for me

Who am I that You would die to make me free?

To give me glory, You took the death and pain

Rock of Ages, my offering

Rock of Ages, "It is done," You cried

The curtain's torn and I see justice satisfied

Now write Your mercy here on my heart and hands

Rock of Ages, in faith I stand

Rock of Ages, my great hope secure

Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul

Bind your children with cords of love and grace

Rock of Ages, we give You praise

Chorus:

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages

Bind your children til' your kingdom comes

Rock of Ages, Your will be done

Words by Sandra McCracken

5 H's: Hopes

So, it's been a few weeks months since I've written anything.  It is time to break the silence and complete the 5 H's.  I started to write a completely different post and decided that I can't leave that last H hanging any longer.  So here we go.

Hopes.  I think this one is the most difficult one for me to share - even moreso than heartaches.  Perhaps it's because I feel hopes inadvertently indicate what you feel is lacking in your life.   It's not as though my life is not full, but there are things that I look forward to and long for.  Really, I have many hopes but only a few worth writing down for the public eye.

1. I heard John Piper pray this in a sermon once, and it has changed the way I think about ministry.  Period.  He prayed this,"Lord, use me in a way that is utterly disproportionate to who I am." That prayer has now become one of my greatest hopes.  I hope that when my time on this earth comes to an end and people talk about my life that they will be able to see the power of God, His hand, His intervention.  I desire that God would use me in such an amazing way that there would be no other alternative than to say - "Wow.  There is no way that she could have done that alone.  God is awesome."

2. I hope that I get to see Jesus return.  At the risk of sounding religiously fanatic - I have always thought (or hoped) that He would return in my lifetime.  Even as a little girl, I had so many questions about end times and at 8 or 9 years old felt so confident that I would be alive to see it.  I'm sure that every generation of believers feels that way.  I think there are some passages that indicate that Paul thought so. 

3. I am not unlike many other women in this one.  I hope someday to be married to a godly man that I am crazy about.  I hope to support him in ministry and, strong personality and all, submit to his leadership.  Again, if you know me well, you know that I don't think singleness is a problem to be solved.  I enjoy the luxury of my decisions not affecting anyone else too greatly, being able to serve with an undivided heart, and doing a lot of fun things that I may or may not get another chance to do.  However, there is a longing in my heart to glorify God in marriage, to love and be loved unconditionally by another person, and so on...  (Let's be honest, there are some things that are for my eyes only)

4. I also hope to influence and teach children (whether they be my own, Lord willing, or someone else's) to be devoted to Christ.  I used to think I wasn't much of a kid person.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  I know that being a mother is a call to sacrifice and suffer.  I respect people like my sister so much, who are raising little ones.  Her life is quite literally not her own.  But I think the joys far outweigh the sufferings. 

There you have it, friends.  My heritage, heroes, heartaches, highlights and hopes.  Even if you don't care to have anyone else see, I highly recommend writing some of these down.  It has been a great exercise.  And thus, the silence is broken.